“Jason that's so bizarre,” you might be saying to yourself. “I wasn't aware our technology had advanced to the point that we could actually watch videos in a newspaper. Or maybe the paper you work for is similar to the Daily Prophet from the wildly successful Harry Potter series.”
To you I say. “It's digital video to be shown on a website.”
You would more than likely reply by saying, “Oh, Of course it is. Did you think I was an idiot, Jason?”
“I didn't think you were an idiot. I apologize if I came off that way. I hope we can move past this.”
As a videographer who shoots both editorial and commercial pieces I have the daunting task of dealing with clients.
A client I've been dealing with for a particularly long time, let's call him Jerry, has been jerking me around for months now. I am constantly being put into uncomfortable situations with this man.
A long time ago in December of 2012 I came to his place of business to shoot 2 minute long commercials. I brought with me the necessary camera equipment and the scripts I had written. We sent the scripts back and forth via email to make sure everything was to Jerry's liking before I showed up. Upon arriving he tells me he isn't sure he likes the script and proceeds to tell me I need to sit down with his PR person in an office and rewrite both scripts. 2 F@#*!NG hours later we have the scripts finished.
What should have been a two – three hour shoot was turning into five – six hours. The shoot itself went relatively smooth, aside from the fact that he forgot to tell anyone I was going to be there that day and that there faces would be on a commercial. Thankfully there were only several people who were uncomfortable with this and it was easy for me to work around them.
This videos are cut in two weeks time and I am very pleased with them. Jerry reviews the proofs and tells me he isn't sure about the graphics at the end. No problem. I tell him to let me know what he's looking for and I can change it with very little hassle.
Let's skip forward to May, 2013. What should have been a quick two weeks of post production to turn this video around has now turned into almost six months of waiting to hear back from this guy.
I am finally able to get in touch with Jerry and he asks if I can meet him in person to go over the changes he wants to make. I meet him in his office and he explains to me that he has two jingles he'd like me to incorporate into the two videos respectively. He also goes on to tell me the jingles are thirty seconds so I will have to rewrite the script to fit the first thirty seconds of the commercial and then play the jingle over the last thirty seconds.
Keep in mind I had already had these videos cut and polished months prior to these changes. Now Jerry was asking me to redo everything I had already done.
In only a couple days I have the scripts rewritten, the voice overs recorded and the jingles incorporated. I attempt to call Jerry with the good news.
“Hi Jerry, it's Jason. How did you like those videos?”
“They look good but I need to get my internet guy's opinion on them. Why don't you call me back tomorrow.”
“Umm... OK. Well, get his opinion and let me know. Have a good day.”
Internet guy? What? So, does he need to contact Comcast?
I'm imagining a hilarious scenario in which this man calls Comcast and sets up an appointment for a technician to come out to the business
Tech: “What seems to be the problem?”
Jerry: “It's this video. I mean I think it looks good but can you give me your professional opinion. I mean it's going to be on the internet and since you're an internet guy I figured you would know best.”
Tech: “Umm... Sure. I guess it looks good. Is that all you needed?”
I mean unless his internet guy is some technologically advanced version of Rumplestiltskin who spins Ethernet cables into bandwith, I just can't figure out what else it he could be.
I'd also like to address the fact that I've been calling this guy back “tomorrow” for about a month now. Every time he answers it's some new lame excuse. “Oh hey, Jason, I'm not in the office. Oh hey, Jason, I'm following the Stanley Cup around Chicago and knew you would be calling for me to rub it in your face. Oh hey Jason, Lavos has finally awoken from his slumber directly in the center of my gym. Oh hey, Jason, my internet Rumplestiltskin guy just opened a vortex to a parallel dimension where they use excuses as currency. Needless to say I'm now a very rich man.”
I can't express just how frustrating this is.
Tune in next time when I'll be complaining about how much I miss the 90's X-Men cartoon that aired on FOX and how some of this new animation makes me want to strap myself to a Mack Truck that's about to rear-end a Pinto.