Let me start by saying I haven't written anything since the Hawks won the Stanley Cup because I've been waiting for this.
Macaulay Culkin is in a Velvet Underground cover band called The Pizza Underground.
DOUBLE F'ING NEWS FLASH:
It's has to be the most offensive thing I've heard in all my years of listening to music.
Allow me to elaborate:
When I say offensive I don't mean it's riddled with vulgarity and graphic descriptions of grizzly scenes, I mean it sounds like someone throwing up into my headphone jack with such velocity that it actually makes me cringe and tear the phones from my head only to pitch them through the nearest open window or into the the nearest blast furnace.
Gone are the days of a homeless looking Culkin gracing the pages of tabloid magazines at the grocery store checkout. Now we are forced to face him in a much more unflattering light.
I haven't even gotten to the most obnoxious part. The Pizza Underground has redone famous songs by Velvet Underground and turned them all into songs about, you guessed it, pizza.
If you haven't clicked the link here's a track listing of the bands album, recorded at Culkin's home, November of this year.
1. Papa John Says
2. I'm Beginning to Eat the Slice
4. I'm Waiting for Delivery Man
5. Cheese Days
6. Pizza Day
7. All the Pizza Parties
8. Pizza Gal
9. Take a Bite of the Wild Slice
Yup, this is a real thing...
Perhaps I'm a bit overly critical of The Pizza Underground.
They make no secret about what they are and I'm sure they weren't taking themselves too seriously when they recorded their demo. There is an unapologetic air about their demo recording which leads me to believe they didn't really spend a lot of time fine tuning anything.
I know, I know, "That's why they call it a demo, Jay."
I did chuckle a few times at some of their lyrics including this one from Waiting for Delivery Man, "comes from Dominos, 1,2,3. more than thirty minutes and that pizza is free"
As I listen to the demo (hopefully for the last time in my life) There are a few lyrics I am impressed with and there are others that felt forced.
All in all I would say if the hidden tracks off a Blink-182 album are your choice of tunes to jam to, then you should pick this album up.
Maybe Ive been too quick to judge. Maybe Lou Reed would actually appreciate it.